Exactly one month ago you could have ask me if I knew how much my life was going to change and I would have probably said oh yeah...but I'm here to tell you that was a lie... 1 months ago was December 22nd school was out and I was so ready to have Liza. I couldn't believe I made it through the end of school, but somehow I did. I can remember trying to make sure everything was in its place and organized before Christmas. I was worried about things like are all the presents wrapped and are all of Liza's clothes washed and put away. If only I knew then what I know now...
In just one month so much has changed. People say things like "your world is going to change", but you don't really pay attention to those comments. To be honest I hated those comments. As I sit here and type I wonder if all moms feel like I have or if I'm not " normal"... Tyler said it best this morning... "what is normal anyway...who really defines the word normal"...we do seem to be on a better schedule now, and I love schedules...but still we have a 1 month old so by saying we are on a schedule just means things are more in order than they were 3 weeks ago...
I have a new respect for single mothers bc I swear that without Tyler I may not be alive...he has been major help...in so many ways...my sister has been a life saver too...she seems to know exactly how i feel...I call her all the time to hear her say she's been there... we have good nights and bad nights...last night wasn't a good night...Liza is stopped up so she had trouble sleeping...poor thing has no clue she can breathe out of her mouth...this morning Tyler took her to the living room with him around 8... He shut the door and out they went...I fell apart for about 10 minutes and then dosed off...crying does make me feel better at times...this morning it was a tired cry I think...just lack of sleep...but not just that...at times I feel completely overwhelmed and I stop and remind myself that I can do this...and everything won't be perfect...and I have to be ok with that...so I fell asleep and woke up at 11:00 to a clean house...and a sleeping baby :)
Like I said a week or so ago I pray more than ever...out loud, silently...whatever works at the time...so in conclusion what does "normal" really mean...and who cares...I've made it a month with my precious little girl and our new family of three is adjusting day by day..I know I will look back on these tough days and think they weren't that big of a deal...I find myself constantly hearing my dad's famous line " take a deep breath spenc, and calm down"...it helps so much...
We are ready for a new week...with absolutely NOTHING planned ;)
With love, Liza's mom
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Our first week as a family of 3...
Where do I start? Well it all started Wednesday December 28th around 5:30 am... I wasn't exactly sure what was going on, but I knew I was hurting...fast forward to 7:25 pm...and our sweet little girl was here...words can't describe how I felt...if your a mother, you know... The minute I saw her I was changed for good...forever...we came home the next night and for some crazy reason decided we could do it alone... Mom offered to stay, but we both said "no it's ok we'll be fine"... Which now I know wasn't exactly right...it was by far the scariest night of my life... New things are scary, and neither of us had a clue.. I prayed all night... Really...without stopping...when the sun came up I realized we made it... I felt so much better...for the next few days we were surrounded by our friends and family...which was wonderful...the biggest thing I have learned through this entire experience is that my parents are my rock...I have needed them more in the last week than ever...I also now know how much they love Hannah and I...and I finally get it...or I think I do...it's a lot to take in...my mother has always been my best friend, but I wouldn't have made it this week without her...
It's so true that you develop a love for your spouse that is so much stronger after a baby...instantly my love for Tyler multiplied by 100...I tell him every night that I couldn't do this without him... And I truly mean that...our 4th night home I decided to go to the living room to feed Liza in the middle of the night and stay in there instead of wake Tyler..I knew he was tired and he had to work the next day...that was one of the hardest nights...I later realized that it was bc I felt alone...as crazy as it sounds, he wasn't next to me and it made a difference...
We,ve been home with Liza for 10 nights now and every day things seem easier...I've prayed more in the past 10 days than I have in a long time...I've never loved someone so much...I could sit ans stare at her for hours...actually some days I do...I knew this would be a hard job...but I had no clue...becoming a mother has been the most rewarding yet scariest experiences of my life...I don't wanna mess up, and that's what makes it hard...I feel so so lucky to have her...my own little girl...who looks just like her daddy (which is just wonderful)...please continue praying for all 3 of us as we continue this wonderful journey...with love- Liza's mom
It's so true that you develop a love for your spouse that is so much stronger after a baby...instantly my love for Tyler multiplied by 100...I tell him every night that I couldn't do this without him... And I truly mean that...our 4th night home I decided to go to the living room to feed Liza in the middle of the night and stay in there instead of wake Tyler..I knew he was tired and he had to work the next day...that was one of the hardest nights...I later realized that it was bc I felt alone...as crazy as it sounds, he wasn't next to me and it made a difference...
We,ve been home with Liza for 10 nights now and every day things seem easier...I've prayed more in the past 10 days than I have in a long time...I've never loved someone so much...I could sit ans stare at her for hours...actually some days I do...I knew this would be a hard job...but I had no clue...becoming a mother has been the most rewarding yet scariest experiences of my life...I don't wanna mess up, and that's what makes it hard...I feel so so lucky to have her...my own little girl...who looks just like her daddy (which is just wonderful)...please continue praying for all 3 of us as we continue this wonderful journey...with love- Liza's mom
Sunday, December 18, 2011
whew...
i can't stand complainers...really, i can't so with that being said if you see me don't ask "how are you doing" bc i really don't think anyone is prepared for my answer...besides the point that it will take me 20 minutes to tell you how i'm really doing...it will sound like complaining...
the last week has been draining...if i could think of a better word i would use it, but draining is all that comes to mind...on wednesday i started having some serious cramping so i called my doctor...she told me to come on in since i was suppose to see her on thursday anyways...so i did, and to make a long story short she sent me to labor and delivery to be monitored...i was having small contractions and she wanted to watch me for a while...i was dilated to a 2 1/2 and 45% effaces...whatever that really means...so finally that night at 7:30 we got to head home... they gave me a shot to relax me, so then i couldn't drive...as i walked outside and tyler went to get his truck and came back to get me i completely fell apart... i can't even say why...i guess a combination of emotions, lack of sleep, cramping, back pain...all of it...
i stayed home thursday and tried to rest...then friday went to work bc i didn't want to miss our christmas program and party...i attempted to sit as much as possible...but its nearly impossible...saturday morning i woke up cramping but once i got up they stopped...i cleaned like a crazy woman ALL DAY... i felt really good all day...went to bed saturday night and at 3 a.m. WIDE AWAKE... finally fell back asleep around 9...so that leads up to today...which has been the hardest day yet...this morning i broke down...i am so tired...and by that i don't really mean sleepy tired...just worn out...my emotions are jacked...poor tyler didn't know what to say, but somehow found the right words... finally i got up and got ready thinking that would help, until i got dressed and was reminded that nothing really fits...i threw on yoga pants and a shirt that has become an every other day shirt...i thought i was ok until my dad called...and the minute he said "how are you" i broke down...
i finally took a nap and went to the store... fixed supper and attempted acting "normal"...with all that being said i will survive...in a few weeks i will hopefully look back and forgotten about this day...i have prayed and prayed for patience and strength until sweet liza decides its time...whenever she is ready we are...please say a prayer for me...for all 3 of us...have a wonderful monday...
the last week has been draining...if i could think of a better word i would use it, but draining is all that comes to mind...on wednesday i started having some serious cramping so i called my doctor...she told me to come on in since i was suppose to see her on thursday anyways...so i did, and to make a long story short she sent me to labor and delivery to be monitored...i was having small contractions and she wanted to watch me for a while...i was dilated to a 2 1/2 and 45% effaces...whatever that really means...so finally that night at 7:30 we got to head home... they gave me a shot to relax me, so then i couldn't drive...as i walked outside and tyler went to get his truck and came back to get me i completely fell apart... i can't even say why...i guess a combination of emotions, lack of sleep, cramping, back pain...all of it...
i stayed home thursday and tried to rest...then friday went to work bc i didn't want to miss our christmas program and party...i attempted to sit as much as possible...but its nearly impossible...saturday morning i woke up cramping but once i got up they stopped...i cleaned like a crazy woman ALL DAY... i felt really good all day...went to bed saturday night and at 3 a.m. WIDE AWAKE... finally fell back asleep around 9...so that leads up to today...which has been the hardest day yet...this morning i broke down...i am so tired...and by that i don't really mean sleepy tired...just worn out...my emotions are jacked...poor tyler didn't know what to say, but somehow found the right words... finally i got up and got ready thinking that would help, until i got dressed and was reminded that nothing really fits...i threw on yoga pants and a shirt that has become an every other day shirt...i thought i was ok until my dad called...and the minute he said "how are you" i broke down...
i finally took a nap and went to the store... fixed supper and attempted acting "normal"...with all that being said i will survive...in a few weeks i will hopefully look back and forgotten about this day...i have prayed and prayed for patience and strength until sweet liza decides its time...whenever she is ready we are...please say a prayer for me...for all 3 of us...have a wonderful monday...
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
ok ok...its gotta be time...
first of all i must say that this pregnancy has been really easy...i was never once sick...the worst thing i dealt with was being so sleepy in my firat trimester...i would literally come in from school, fall onto the bed, take a cat nap and drag myself to the gym...being tired is "do-able"...then all of a sudden i woke up one day in my second trimester and felt nothing...it was like i was my old self again...i felt wonderful...and now, well the word of the last week or so is "pressure"...that is the nicest way to put it...liza has been a busy, busy girl from the beginning...moving non stop...last week when i went to the dr i was told that she has dropped...of course now all i do is read about dropping online...some people have lots of pressure and pain in their pelvic bone and hips, and others don't...i definetly do...i really would consider myself pretty tough, and i feel like i can tolerate pain pretty well, and let me just say... this crap hurts...like i moan in the night when i get up to go to the bathroom and it is very obvious that i am "waddling" these days...tyler is so sweet...all night he says things like "im so sorry your hurting"...i know deep down he wishes i would zip it...
anyways it all boils down to...i am just ready...yes, i want her lungs to be perfect and i do not want to rush her...but i also wish that she would be easy with that head...words can't explain how ready i am to see her...my actual due date is january 9th...but after seeing the dr last week her words were "i think we might have a baby around 37 or 38 weeks" which is like 3 weeks away at the most...i keep going through my list of what i must get done...and it just keeps growing...nothing will really prepare me i'm sure...but regardless i can't wait...these have been the happiest 9 months of my life...i have never looked forward to something so much...please keep all 3 of us in your prayers...happy tuesday
anyways it all boils down to...i am just ready...yes, i want her lungs to be perfect and i do not want to rush her...but i also wish that she would be easy with that head...words can't explain how ready i am to see her...my actual due date is january 9th...but after seeing the dr last week her words were "i think we might have a baby around 37 or 38 weeks" which is like 3 weeks away at the most...i keep going through my list of what i must get done...and it just keeps growing...nothing will really prepare me i'm sure...but regardless i can't wait...these have been the happiest 9 months of my life...i have never looked forward to something so much...please keep all 3 of us in your prayers...happy tuesday
Saturday, October 22, 2011
29 weeks...
I haven't been good at updating my blog, but I promise I will do better...with school and everything else going on I am busy all the time...oh and I can't forget pinterest...that takes up ummm 75% of my time...I am so addicted...One day I will make everything that I've pinned...
So much has been going on...I go to the deoctor every 2 weeks now and we had our first 4d ultrasound which was WONDERFUL...Thanks to Lynne Parker Tate...We drove to Arkadelphia one afternoon after work...we were there well over an hour looking at our sweet little girl...We are going back in 2 weeks to look again...I can't wait...She sucked her thumb and smiled and even flexed her muscle for us...It is truly amazing that we can see so much...Last week we had maternity pictures done...A girl in Smackover named Stacie Martin took them, she is fabulous...She has sent me a few, and I can't wait to see them all...As soon as Liza is here she will have to take her pics too... My class this year is great...I know I will miss them in January...I have already arranged for a few of them whose parents are willing to bring them to visit me...
Liza Kate is a busy baby...What else do I expect...I never seem to stop and her Daddy, well he isn't human...He is on go 24 hours a day...She moves mostly at night and early early morning...I feel her throughout the day too...big movements... until the 4d I wasn't sure what it was I was feeling, but I knew that something was constantly hitting me in the belly button...Sure enough, its her little bottom...knots up so hard and pushes on my belly button...Our favorite thing to do is lay in bed at night and drink apple juice and watch her move...She goes nuts!!!!
Her room is almost done...it finally has come together...I had a picture in my head of what I wanted it to look like and I can see it now...We are waiting on our glider to be recovered and a few more odds and ends...I just go in there and sit all the time... Tyler does too...last week I couldn't find him and he was sitting in the middle of the floor just staring...His exact words were "I can't wait"...me either babe...I can't wait to see her and touch her...I think I will stay up for days just looking at her...
This pregnancy has not been bad at all...I consider myself lucky...I was never sick...very sleepy the first trimester, but never sick...a part of me wants her here with me...so that I know she is safe and I can look at her whenever I want...but another part of me is going to miss this...I never feel alone...she is with me constantly and I love that...I have never been happier...so content...I never imagined my life like this...of course there are days that I cry for no reason and sweet Tyler just pats me on the back or hugs me and says "is there anything I can do for you"...he is so good...and I don't give him enough credit...I pray Liza is just like him every day...He is unlike anyone I know...
Here are some pics that I have needed to post...enjoy...
I hate "belly pics" but somehow this turned out so good...I doesn't seem to have that nasty, seductive look...
Sucking her thumb
So much has been going on...I go to the deoctor every 2 weeks now and we had our first 4d ultrasound which was WONDERFUL...Thanks to Lynne Parker Tate...We drove to Arkadelphia one afternoon after work...we were there well over an hour looking at our sweet little girl...We are going back in 2 weeks to look again...I can't wait...She sucked her thumb and smiled and even flexed her muscle for us...It is truly amazing that we can see so much...Last week we had maternity pictures done...A girl in Smackover named Stacie Martin took them, she is fabulous...She has sent me a few, and I can't wait to see them all...As soon as Liza is here she will have to take her pics too... My class this year is great...I know I will miss them in January...I have already arranged for a few of them whose parents are willing to bring them to visit me...
Liza Kate is a busy baby...What else do I expect...I never seem to stop and her Daddy, well he isn't human...He is on go 24 hours a day...She moves mostly at night and early early morning...I feel her throughout the day too...big movements... until the 4d I wasn't sure what it was I was feeling, but I knew that something was constantly hitting me in the belly button...Sure enough, its her little bottom...knots up so hard and pushes on my belly button...Our favorite thing to do is lay in bed at night and drink apple juice and watch her move...She goes nuts!!!!
Her room is almost done...it finally has come together...I had a picture in my head of what I wanted it to look like and I can see it now...We are waiting on our glider to be recovered and a few more odds and ends...I just go in there and sit all the time... Tyler does too...last week I couldn't find him and he was sitting in the middle of the floor just staring...His exact words were "I can't wait"...me either babe...I can't wait to see her and touch her...I think I will stay up for days just looking at her...
This pregnancy has not been bad at all...I consider myself lucky...I was never sick...very sleepy the first trimester, but never sick...a part of me wants her here with me...so that I know she is safe and I can look at her whenever I want...but another part of me is going to miss this...I never feel alone...she is with me constantly and I love that...I have never been happier...so content...I never imagined my life like this...of course there are days that I cry for no reason and sweet Tyler just pats me on the back or hugs me and says "is there anything I can do for you"...he is so good...and I don't give him enough credit...I pray Liza is just like him every day...He is unlike anyone I know...
Here are some pics that I have needed to post...enjoy...
Her cheeks are so big ;)
Smiling for us
Flexing for her daddy
Monday, September 12, 2011
the latest on liza...
i am so behind...it's like school started and my free time is gone...i go to work...drag myself to the gym...then usually do something in liza's room...then hit the sack...oh and of course i find free time for pinterest...i am hooked!
so i apologize for not updating...i am 23 weeks and feeling very pregnant...to be honest right now i love it...i love feeling her move...every single time she kicks it's like the first....she is busiest first thing in the morning right after i eat breakfast...and at night after my bath...we both love it...with every kick one of us says"did you feel that"...it is the best feeling ever...last week my doctor did an ultrasound and checked out all her little organs and praise the lord she looks healthy...i have never in my life been so ready for something...i just want to see her...and hold her...for some reason i feel like if she is in my arms i will know she is safe...i worry about her all the time in my tummy...it's the unknown i guess...i'm sure the minute she gets here my worrying will multiply by 100...
her room is coming together...but not completely done...which drives me nuts...but i know it will all come together...dad commented that she has more clothes than any unborn child...oh dad, just wait...
we have a busy week ahead of us...i am hoping to get the bedding ready soon...this weekend we are home ALL weekend...which i love more than anything...so i am hoping to get a lot done...please continue prayers for sweet liza...here are a few pics...i love her so much already...happy monday
Here is a little something i made...I am hanging these on the wall behind her changing table...these belonged to my grandfather...
Liza's profile...and as her daddy says her big bicep;)
Sweet face...looking to ther right...i swear she looks like tyler...
A shadow box i made filled with tyler's bib, bracelet, and card from the hospital...
daddy putting together a book shelf for liza's room...(while glued to the tv)
23 weeks...whew...i have a ways to go;)
so i apologize for not updating...i am 23 weeks and feeling very pregnant...to be honest right now i love it...i love feeling her move...every single time she kicks it's like the first....she is busiest first thing in the morning right after i eat breakfast...and at night after my bath...we both love it...with every kick one of us says"did you feel that"...it is the best feeling ever...last week my doctor did an ultrasound and checked out all her little organs and praise the lord she looks healthy...i have never in my life been so ready for something...i just want to see her...and hold her...for some reason i feel like if she is in my arms i will know she is safe...i worry about her all the time in my tummy...it's the unknown i guess...i'm sure the minute she gets here my worrying will multiply by 100...
her room is coming together...but not completely done...which drives me nuts...but i know it will all come together...dad commented that she has more clothes than any unborn child...oh dad, just wait...
we have a busy week ahead of us...i am hoping to get the bedding ready soon...this weekend we are home ALL weekend...which i love more than anything...so i am hoping to get a lot done...please continue prayers for sweet liza...here are a few pics...i love her so much already...happy monday
Here is a little something i made...I am hanging these on the wall behind her changing table...these belonged to my grandfather...
Sunday, August 14, 2011
"she's like her daddy...she likes to jam...duh"
yesterday on the way home from wal mart i had the radio up pretty loud and all of a sudden...BAM liza moved BIG time...on my left side...the only way i can describe this move is like a bubble that started down low and rolled up to my ribs...it was big enough that i turned down the radio and grabbed my side, and said "well hello little girl"...the minute i got home i told tyler...his response was "well duh, she's like her daddy...she likes to jam." if you have ever been around tyler and music you understand why this is so funny...he will bust out the centipede without second thought...deep down i hope she is just like him...So dance away sweet girl!
this is my 20th week...so i am officially half way there...my original due date was january 9th...but last week i had an ultrasound and based on her measurements and all it moved back to december 29th...we shall see...i am just thankful she is growing...a healthy baby is what we want...have a wonderful week...
this is my 20th week...so i am officially half way there...my original due date was january 9th...but last week i had an ultrasound and based on her measurements and all it moved back to december 29th...we shall see...i am just thankful she is growing...a healthy baby is what we want...have a wonderful week...
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