My job(s)

Two weeks from tomorrow school starts and so my days at home with my sweet girl are put on pause until Christmas. Somehow she will turn 2 then and I will cry big crocodile tears.  Of course I'm going to miss her like crazy, mostly our mornings in the bed. I've said this before and I'll say it again I think working makes me a better mommy in some ways. I seem to have more patience and our time together becomes precious.

Our summer has been wonderful.  Every day wasn't a party, but every single day I learned something from her.  Whether its patience...or learning to take a deep breath and hold her sweet little hand while  SHE walks down the stairs (even though we are 10 minutes late leaving the house.)

Her days with Sharon will begin again in two weeks and that's part of what makes it easier too. She loves being at Sharon's house. She loves the chickens outside, the good home cooked lunches, and most of all those two sweet people who without a doubt love her like their own.  Liza has continued going to Sharon's every Wednesday this summer, and she's always ready to jump out of her seat when we pull up. Sharon is truly a blessing to us.

I also miss my school family.  I've been there 8 years and they are so much more than coworkers. I miss the kids and our conversations. I always look forward to new fresh groups of kids.  The kids become mine after just a few weeks. After all I spend more time with them than their mommies.

It wasn't until I held Liza for the first time that I really realized how much trust those parents put  in me. Of course I'm suppose to prepare their babies for that lovely test we have to take in the spring, and of course I must prepare them for the 5th grade, but its sooooo much more than that.  I remember going back to work when Liza was 4 months old and walking into that room with a completely different outlook.  I want those parents to feel as sure as I do when I drop Liza off  at Sharon's.  Sharon's not only feeding/changing/playing with Liza, she's loving her and hugging her and helping her grow into a sweet little girl...who shares and loves others unconditionally.

So not only am I teaching/assessing/disciplining my kids... I'm responsible for teaching them to be kind...and confident...and fair (Being a 10 year old girl isn't easy :)

I read a wonderful blog last week about "teacher moms" it was right on.  Although many would like to think we live inside a Pinterest house and our lives are all organized and together...  That is SO wrong.  The combination isn't an easy one.  It's tough some days.  Like the post said "some days we resent those classroom kids bc we spend more time with them than our own babies... and more than once I've been guilty of changing dates on lesson plans bc I'm too tired to write new ones...and sometimes kids who remind us of our own babies become our favorites...and somedays we are out of patience when we get home to our own babies"

All of that is so true, but its doable.  It's more than doable. It's what I was meant to do on this earth. I believe that with everything I have.  Be a mommy and a teacher. After all it goes hand in hand.

XOXO
Liza's mom

July Challenge

So today is July !st and I swear yesterday was May 24th and we were getting out of school.  Time flies when you're having fun, right?!  Somehow June is over and I'm not sure how.  So, I've decided to try something.  Starting today I am going to "attempt" to do something new with Liza everyday.  Not a big something, but just something she hasn't done before.  I have a few ideas... and some are as simple as collecting rocks...others involve glue. (which makes me sweat)

 We started today with finger painting.  Not a big deal at all, right?  Ummm, wrong...huge deal! She loved it, but I was sweating the whole time.  Even though in the back of my mind I knew it was washable.  When she started slapping her hands together and screaming... I began to panic.  It was flying everywhere! Somehow I managed to let her finish and she absolutley LOVED it! Mostly she just did her own thing, but I did attempt to get one 4th of July project out of it.  In the end there was paint everywhere, but it all came off easily.  While she was slinging paint, I was trying to snap a few pictures.  She got up out of her chair and walked over to me and kissed me right on the mouth.  In the process she got paint all over me, but who cares at that point!

After we got it all cleaned up and I was putting her down for a nap I had this thought.  We should do something like this every single day this month.  I don't mean paint, but something she hasn't done yet. My summer will be over before I know it and I dont want to look back and think "what did we do all summer"... I'm not one to pretend we live in fantasy world over here.  Just yesterday we had to leave a restaurant because she was flipping out and attempting to knock over anything in sight! So yeah, its not all roses.  Our days are just like everyone elses.  Some are great, and some days I want to get in my car and run away...far away.  One thing I don't want to do is regret not spending enough "quality time" with her.  It is so easy to get wrapped up in our own lives and 2 days have gone by and you realize the most you've done for your child is changed their diaper or fed them.  It's easy to turn Dora on for long periods at a time.  Believe me...I am guilty!   I have 31 days ahead of me to fix this.  Of course I will still turn  on Dora, and of course I will still hand her the ipad while I'm cooking supper, but I will also try and do something interactive with her every day.  This may come really easy to some, but if I'm being completely honest with myself it's not always easy for me.  So here we go... I may need Xanax by August 1st, but Liza hopefully will remember our summers at home together (even when I act like a crazy person and lose my patience)



Summer Summer Summertime Day 1

Well our summer has officially begun.  I've always loved having the summers off, but I know this one will be the best so far.  Liza loves being outside, so I'm glad Grandmother's pool is nearby! It's not even June and I'm already burning up!  Our days are busy busy and very fast pace.  Liza turned 17 months old today and is by far the most energetic child I've ever known.  I want to record what our days are like right now, so that I can see how much she changes throughout the summer.

Our schedule-

Wake around 7:30-8:00

Breakfast around 8:30

Lunch 11:00

Nap 12:30

Snack 3:00

Dinner 6:00

Bath 6:45

Bedtime 7:30

Our words-

Mommy

Dada

Pop Pop

Papaw

Woof (in the place of dog)

Kitty

Chicken

Duck

Shoe

Choo choo

Ice

Swus (slush)

Pat (Pratt)

Hot

Bye (with a wave)

Favorite Foods-

Pickles

Green Beans

Yogurt

Grapes

Blueberries

Bananas

Donut Holes

Spaghetti

Play time-

Bubbles

Coloring

Tea Parties in the play house

Reading (We are hung on Splat the Cat right now)

Swinging

Eating popsicles while being pulled in the wagon

She is such a sweet girl and I can't wait to spend the summer at home with her.  Summers will always be cherished aroud here!

XOXO Liza's mom



Fear not...

The last week has been a difficult one.  I have felt just about every emotion.  We lost a dear friend last week and just today we talked about how it still just seems unreal.  How can he really be gone...  If I close my eyes and think of him, I see him in heaven, with that same sweet grin on his face.  This sounds so silly, but in times like these I long to be in heaven.  Of course, I have so much to live for here, but there are times when I wish we could all just go.  The heartache here on earth just seems so cruel somedays.  I often remind myself that our life here is so incredibly short compared to heaven.  For so many years I couldn't wrap my mind around that, but it seems more and more real the older I get. 

Then, the incident in Boston just adds to the emotions.  Something happens when you have a child.  Something deep down inside of me was raging as I was watching the news.  I commented that I wanted to run away with all my loved ones and build a compound and escape all of this.  As I watched the news and saw pictures of the victims I wanted to go get Liza and hold her in my arms.  I didn't want to go to work.  I wanted to stay right here in my "safe place" with everyone I love.  As I left for work on Friday morning I turned to walk down the stairs and couldn't help but notice the sun shining through the clouds.  I sat down right there on the stairs and began talking to God.  I think the first thing out of my mouth was "Why... why is this happening...why do I feel this way...why are you letting all of these horrible things happen to innocent people...what are we suppose to do?"  I have never really heard God speak directly to me...Sure, I have felt like God was trying to tell me things in my life, but never speaking directly to me...At this moment I did... The sun got brighter and brighter and shone directly through the window at the top of the stairs... As clear as day I felt God say "Stand up Spencer...I am here, dont you see me...I am in control" Instantly I had this feeling wash over me...I started thinking about all my kids at school, I'm not sure why but I did.  I picked my bags up and headed down the stairs.  The entire way to work I thought about this and wondered if I had imagined it or if it was real...

This morning in church our preacher began his sermon talking about the events that have occured this week.  He went on to say that in times like this we often want to "take our loved ones and run away and build a compound"  I knew the minute he said it, he was referring to my post on fb.  He ended his sermon with this " So I say to that mother- Instead of wanting to run away in fear, just come on back and fear not, for I am with you"  WOW..Ok ok I get it God, I get it...I heard you Friday morning, but now you are speaking directly to me through the preacher... I hear you.

So with all this being said, no matter how scary things may look and how heartbroken we may feel, God is with us... for this I am forever grateful.

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  Isaiah 41:10




Here are a few pictures from our weekend...most of it was spent outside;)

 Liza showing me all her "boo boos" she is one rough girl!

Spring break and blueberries

Where do I start?  One of the many perks to my job is having spring break and summer break.  I knew this would be very important when I had kids.  My mom was always home with Hannah and I during these times, and I plan to do the same.  We had no big plans for our week except that we knew we were going to see the boys in Benton toward the end of the week.  We hung out at home part of the week and saw Daddy off on Thursday morning and then we headed to Benton.  Cookie was there with the boys and from the minute we walked in the house the 3 of them played non stop.  Liza loves Pratt and Max so much.  I love watching the 3 of them together.  On Friday, Cookie and I lost our minds and took the kids to Chuck-E-Cheese.  It was fun, but attempting to chase them in 3 different directions was tough.  They were exhausted when we left!  We went to the lake on Friday and then headed home Saturday.  Up until that point it was pretty much smooth sailing for mom. 

All of that changed when Liza spewed blueberries all over my kitchen.  I wish someone had been there to video us.  She was looking at me like "What the heck just happened to me, and where is my paci?"  I was looking at her... and the walls... and the ceiling... and the floor in complete shock.  I know my mouth was wide open.  I seriously was walking in circles holding a baby covered in vomit.  I grabbed my phone and called my mother in law who was here in less than 5 minutes.  When she walked in I still had this look on my face and I kept saying "Oh my goodness...What am I going to do...Oh my goodness... Poor baby!"  She saved the day by coming over to help.  She continued throwing up for an hour and then fell asleep.  I was able to slip zofran in her mouth and 2 hours later she woke up much better.  Still really pitiful, but no more throw up.  It was so hard, but I kept trying to remind myself that people deal with things that are much much more serious and this would be ok.  Late last night I began to feel sick too, but lets just say this I got the "easier" version of the bug. 

With all this being said, I have never been so excited to see Tyler.  We missed him big big big time.  It's just not the same around here without him.  This morning while Liza and I were playing in the playroom I realized this place is just a house without everyone here.  Its really not our home until we are all here together.  I now know I can do it alone  (if I have to)  even with vomit all over me...but I sure do prefer doing it with Tyler.  On another note, Tyler won 1st place at mud nationals! WOO HOO!

Tomorrow is Monday and I will go back to work.  I know I will miss Liza, but I also know that it will be somewhat of a break for me.  I also know that she will have a wonderful day with Sharon.  So I learned a few things this week..#1 if there is a chance you could possibly have the stomach virus do not eat blueberries #2 We wouldn't survive without daddy #3 Having a job makes me a better mom.

XOXO
Liza's mom

Step back

I have sat down several times in the last few days to blog, but I couldn't seem to get the right words out.  In the last week or so my eyes have been opned to so much.  I say this all the time, but I think it's so true- since I've become a mother I look at so many things in life from a different perspective.  I love things that I didn't pay attention to before, I don't have patience for some things, but more than anything I seem to think before speaking (or at least I try to)  For so many reasons, #1 Liza can hear everything I say.  She may not understand it all, but one day very soon she will.  #2 I am more and more aware of other peoples feelings.  I wish I could teach this to my 4th graders. Heck, I wish I would've been more aware of this myself... I'm not referring to saying things out loud in front of others that hurt their feelings, I'm talking about before we speak,take into consideration everyone else's "story." 

Every single time I post a picture on instagram or a post on fb I think about anyone it may effect.  I have friends who have dealt with losses and sicknesses.  I have a best friend who is fighting cancer at this very minute.  My life is so easy right now and I could blink and it could all come falling down, I'm fully aware of this...more aware than ever. When I post pictures of Liza, I think about mothers who have lost their children or never were able to have children of their own.  When I post pictures of Tyler and Liza, I think about friends who have lost their husbands.   I can't stand reading complaints on fb about things that just don't matter.  Or worse than that is bragging.  I.can't.take.it.  I have to force myself to not look, because I know I will say something I shouldn't say. 

I just think we all need to take a step back and examine our lives.  Be completely honest with ourselves.  Be honest with others.  Take the time to listen to someone else's story and their life.  Just a few weeks ago I had the pleasure of doing this.  I was at parent teacher conferences and I had a father completely open up to me.  It was just the two of us in my classroom, and he talked about his childhood and his struggles in school.  He went on to tell me that all he really wanted was to raise respectful kids.  He talked about how he does everything in his power to make their lives easier than his.  It was like time completely stopped.  I sat across the table from this man who had "working man" hand and his name on his shirt and realized that in the last 10 minutes I had learned more from him than he could've ever learned from me.  I wish I could've recorded our conversation and played it for everyone.  At that moment I realized I want Liza to grow up around people like this man.  I want her to see how although we are all so different, we all have so much to offer. 

With all this being said I am so thankful for everyone in my life right now.  Every single person.  You all teach me more than you will ever know, about myself and about the person I am want to be.


XOXO
Liza's mom

sunday funday

days like today make all those hard days disappear.  we didn't do a lot, but what we did do was perfect.  it was just the three of us, all day long.  we went to the dog show this morning, and liza loved it.  i knew she would.  she "woofed" at all the dogs and made friends with a sweet golden retriever named lucy.  by the time we left i was convinced she needed an inside dog.  then i remebered all the dog hair and quickly changed my mind.

 after the dog show, we went to eat lunch.  liza made a new friend.  she loves old people.  she gets that from me.  i could sit and talk to old people forever.  this sweet little lady in andy's came right over and visited with us during our lunch.  they played peek a boo and she told liza all about her great grandchildren. 

our afternoon was spent outside.  the weather was perfect.  axle and addi came out for a while, until addi took off, and then she had to go back in dad's shop.  axle is so gentle with liza.  he follows her all over, and gets as close as he can get without knocking her over.  she loves him more than anything.  i bet she gave him 10 kisses, and then took off running.  he has no idea he is enormous, but he does know that he must be gentle with her. 


i wish i could record days like today.  record our conversation.  record tyler telling liza that she is the most perfect little girl in the whole wide world.  record liza's giggles.  i know there will be days very soon when i will miss this so much.  if i could hit pause, i would.  life has never been so sweet. 

here are a few pics from the dog show...and our afternoon.

xoxo
liza's mom