10 days

In just 10 days my baby girl will be a year old.  I always heard people say "I wish time would stop", but I never truly understood it until now.  Right now. I haven't slowed down enough to really let it sink in, but tonight it hit me.  10 days. 10 days people. How in the world is this possible.  The only thing appropriate to do at a time like this was look at pictures of her birth.  So thats what I did.  Mistake. Huge mistake.  I want to go back to that day so bad, but then again no the heck I dont.  It was truly the best day of my life, labor and all.  I say all the time I would do it over 500 times, it was the most exciting day.  But, it was scary too.  We were clueless. I can see it all over our faces. (Tyler and I)  It is so so nice to be able to say that we finally have it all together.  As we flipped through the pictures Tyler said "I think next time we will be ok, we've got this down now"  Did you hear that?  He said "next time" HOLY COW...I knew the day would come, but didn't know it would come this soon.  He wouldn't utter those words 1 month ago. 

The last year has just flown by.  I look at her all the time and wonder how it happened so fast.  She isn't a baby anymore.  She's a very very busy toddler.  By busy I don't just mean she walks around.  She runs.  She is non stop unless she is sleeping.  I think this is why she sleeps so good. Her newest trick is holding up one finger.  We say "How old is Liza" and she holds up one finger, but her favorite part is the clapping afterwards and her famous "YAY"  She loves dancing and swaying back and forth.  She blows kisses, except her version of this is only the kiss part, she forgets to blow it.  She loves for you to sing and she sings along.  At night after her baths we use the hair dryer and she sings the whole time.  She is just so much fun.  I don't remember our life before her.  It has so much more meaning now. 

In 10 days we will celebrate her first birthday.  Not only will I be celebrating her birthday, I will also celebrate the fact that we made it.  Thanks to so many.  We made it an entire year without "really" messing up.  I think I just may get 3 candles.  One for Liza, Tyler, and me.

XOXO,
Liza's mom

That was then...This is now



Sleep training

Ok so a friend ask me a few weeks back to post about sleep training. First and foremost let me say I do not know everything about sleeping or a baby. I've only been doing this for a year. Also, my child wasn't hard at all to sleep train, so that makes it easier on me.  I must give all credit to my sister, she is the one who told me what to do and how to do it.  I did read Baby Wise, but after about 4 chapters I was over it.  I wasn't willing to read an entire book that repeated itself over and over and over. The overall goal was- you put your child on your schedule.  You decide when they sleep and eat.  I can remember being 9 months pregnant and pulling the book back out bc I didn't feel "ready" ,but still the second time it was the same thing.  So I closed the book and listened to my sister.  She did this twice and I trusted her and every single piece of advice she gave me.

So here it goes... First of all you must have a miracle blanket. Not just any swaddle, it must be a miracle blanket.  From day one I swaddled her.  At first I only swaddled at night time.  In hopes that she would figure out day vs. night.  She slept all the time at first, no set nap time just lots of sleep, but at night time usually around 10 (at first) I swaddled her and put her down.  Our first real routine was 10-2-6.  When she woke up at two I never unswaddled her. (unless she was dirty) I fed her with the lights off and put her back down.  I really think when I would unswaddle her she would wake up.  The lights are a biggie too.  Leave them off unless you want to get up!  Then at six,  I would unswaddle her, feed her and change her diaper.  Gradually her naps became real naps, not just sleeping all day long.  At this point I started swaddling her for naps too.  She would take a morning nap, a short lunch nap, and then afternoon.  I remember being worried that this was too much, but it wasn't.  Eventually she quit the lunch time nap and developed 2 big naps.  One at 8:30 and one at 1:30 we still to this day take these naps... same time every single day. 

Back to night sleep- I started realizing by the time she was one month old that she was getting really fussy around 6 pm, so we assumed she was tired...Bingo we.were.right! So that night we gave her a bath at six, fed her, swaddled her and put her to bed.  Crazy huh... I was a nervous wreck.   I just knew I was screwing everything up bc the 10-2-6 thing wasn't bad.  What in the heck was I doing? Crazy or not she slept til two just like always and woke at six.  Shutup... I was pumped.  I remember telling Tyler now all we need is that two o'clock feeding to stop and we have won this training game!

 I am a big believer in rice cereal.  Not just a little  A LOT! The best way I can explain it is "runny applesauce" I started putting cereal in the 6:30 bottle and within a few weeks she quit waking up at two.  So at this point I was thrilled.  We hadn't even had to do the crying it out thing yet. 

Seventeen weeks after she was born, I went back to work and was so glad we were on this fabulous schedule.  Then all of a sudden one night she started waking up at 2:30 I can remember laying in bed and saying to Tyler "I know she isn't hungry", bc after all she had been sleeping all night.  The first night I went in to check on her.  I walked in her room (no lights) picked her up (without saying a word) and  checked her diaper. She was wet, but nothing out of the normal.  I changed her, laid her back down and without uttering a word walked out.  The screaming did begin but didn't last too long.  I know the no talking thing sounds mean, but she had to understand that it was night time, and at night time we sleep.  Its dark and we don't talk or play.  It only took a few night of this and she quickly figured out there was no point to scream her head off.  This only happened a few nights and then it just stopped.  Of course, we still will have nights when she doesn't feel good that things don't  go so smoothly, but 95% of the time she sleeps soundly all night long. 

So at this point she was swaddled from 6:30 pm to 6 am and sleeping great.  The next battle was  6/7 months when she was too big for the miracle blanket.  I was FREAKING out! How in the world was I going to do this?  I just knew she would wake herself up with those hands.  I decided to start with taking just her arms out during naps only.  We gradually got rid of the swaddle and she rolled over on her belly and slept just fine.  Some nights she falls asleep taking a bottle, other nights she is awake when I lay her down and she puts herself to sleep.  Just tonight she talked for about 30 minutes before crashing, but never cried.

Today we are still on this schedule and she will be a year old in a few weeks.  I am fine if she stays on this schedule for another year.  Heck, I'd be fine is she were on this schedule for 10 more years.  It works. Is it always easy on us?  Nope, not at all.  We have no life after 6 pm unless we have a babysitter.  We eat dinner early and we don't sleep past 6 am most days, but I have a happy happy baby that knows exactly what to expect.  She knows she will wake at 6...nap from 8:30- 9:30/10..then nap again from 1:30-2:30/3... then take a bath around 6:30 and go to bed by 7.  Schedules are good for us.  Even my students do better on schedules.  Kids like to know what to expect. 

Like I said earlier this blog was not at all intended to sound like I know everything about sleep training, because I DON'T!  But maybe, just maybe it will help someone.  It sure works well for us. 

Have a great week!
XOXO Liza's mom

Another year

Somehow I turned 30 today.  When I say I feel like I was 16 I am dead serious. I can remember just like it was last night when my dad pulled up in my brand new black honda with the biggest red bow on the top.  How has that been 14 years ago?  Where did the time go?  How am I thirty years old and a mother?

I will say this, the last year of my life has been the very best so far.  That sounds crazy since about 3 months of that year I was CRAZY...yep, I said it, completely out of mind.  Walking around this house in yoga pants and sweatshirts and crying 15 out the 24 hours in a day.  I'm gonna say that was from January to March.  Then, it was like one day I just snapped out of it.  I still won't say it was post partum, but it was a terrible case of the baby blues.  Like I said though within time I was ok.  Still though, even including those dark dark months, the past year has been the best.

Liza gets a lot of credit for making it so good.  Anyone who is a mother understands how you are changed the minute your baby is welcomed into this world.  I wouldn't have considered myself a selfish person at all prior to Liza, but I can say now that I don't have an ounce of selfishness left.  I just don't matter anymore, and I'm 150% ok with that (crazy huh)  I have lived for the moment, not worrying about what's to come.  I have realized how strong I really am, but at the same time how much I need Tyler, and my family, and my best friends.  I have prayed more in the last year than in my life.  Prayed for Liza, her daddy, myself...constantly. 

But I have to stop and say thank you...thank you to every single person who has been involved in my life this last year, because I swear without every one of you, I'm not sure I would've made it.  Tonight as I rocked Liza and sniffed her hair I began to cry, not because I'm sad, but because thats how much I love her, so much it hurts.  And because a whole year is almost gone.  Tomorrow she will be 11 months old and I can't believe it.  I want to go back and start over.  I want to do it all again, even the hard days.  Even the days when I texted Hannah and said " I can't do this!" I want those days back.

With all that being said the number 30 doesn't bother me one single bit.  Some days I feel 21 and other days 45.  I can't wait to see what this year holds.  Again, thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who helped make the last year so good... I love you all. 

XOXO-
Liza's mom

Blowing out the candle with mom

                                  My little family





Busy Girls

We have had a busy busy day and it's only 1:30.  We played all morning...cleaned bathroom, and then napped... after just 30 minutes she woke up...instead of getting her up for good, we rocked... towel in my hair and all...for 30 more minutes she slept on me, and I loved every single minute of it.

Then we went and had lunch with Daddy... Liza got her first bite of chocolate chip pizza and LOVED it... Her eye brows shot up as if "where in the heck has this been my whole life?"  We ran a few errands and then came home and walked everywhere... She is more confident with every step and when she falls she says "YAY!!!!"

I took a few pics so that I could document our first big day of walking all over. It's like she knew we would be home together today.  She saved it all for me. 

Our days together are so special...so so special.
XOXO- Liza's mom

An Improvement...

Our evenings are not the easiest/most pleasant time around here, but hopefully (fingers crossed) it's getting better! Since Liza was a month old, she has always been cranky around 6pm...that's when we decided...fine, we will just go to bed...yep, that early...and still to this day we bathe her at 6:30 and she is in bed by 7. I tell myself that she's just tired...she takes 2 naps a day, but requires A LOT of sleep. 

But, just maybe,she is getting better.  Each day seems a little more tolerable.  Today was a good day.  We played...I cooked supper while she played with magnetic letters on the fridge...she played in her balls...she looked at The Wheels on the Bus 50 times...and played Peak-A-Boo-Barn for 20 minutes...and then we all sat down and ate supper. (without crying)

Days like today make me consider having another baby... not any time soon, but the thought crosses my mind... Don't tell Tyler, he will move to the guest room ;)

Happy Wednesday
XOXO, Liza's mom
            
Her teeth don't have a chance, she uses them to open things. Her uncle would die!

Reading The Wheels on the Bus... her favorite...notice the pop ups are all missing!

                                      
                      She points at everything...all day, every day!

 
 This face is a bit scary...I wish I knew what she were thinking...or maybe I don't want to know ;)



Getaway

Every year for tha last 4 years Tyler and I have always gone away for our birthdays.  The last few years we've gone to Shreveport, mainly because there's plenty to do for both of us... he gambles while I shop- makes complete sense ;)  Last year I was (BIG time) pregnant.  I remember like it was yeaterday we were walking through a store and a lady said " Oh when are you due?" Tyler immediately said "She's not pregnant!"  Her face was priceless.  I fell out laughing and informed her that I had 1 month left.  Also, last year Arkansas was playing LSU... We ate and went back to the room to watch the game and sleep.  I was big and tired!  If only I had known the true meaning of tired haha!

We knew we wanted to get away this year too, but of course questioned going.  Should we just stay home? Do we really need to shop?  Do we want to give up a Saturday with Liza?  Finally we decided we had to go..even if we just drove 30 minutes down the road...we had to.  We owed it to us...our marriage...our friendship...we must get away.  I can remember laying in bed when I was pregnant with Liza and wondering how things were going to be once she was here.  I can remember worrying that Tyler and I would grow apart, because after all taking care of a newborn requires ALL of your attention.  I can remember him being worried about this same thing.  We were clueless, but we were smart enough to know that things were going to change.

I will be completely honest, you are lying to yourself and everyone around you if you say having a child isn't hard on a marriage bc well, it just is.  We never had to "work" at our marriage, it just worked all by itself.  We talked all the time, we sat down and ate dinner together every night, we ate breakfast in bed every morning...we did everything together... and we were right things did change.  There is no way that things can remain the same.  We now have a precious little girl that needs all of our attention.

On the way to Shreveport we talked about this.  About how we wouldn't trade her for the world and we can't imagine our life withour her, but how important it is to get away and find "us" again.  Sit down at dinner and talk about anything we want.  Stay for 30 minutes after we finsih eating because we are in no hurry.  Lay around a hotel room.  Go to dinner at 8:00. ( which is very late when you are used to eating at 5:30) Most importantly focus all of our attention on each other for 24 hours.

It is so easy to get wrapped up in day to day routines.  I am so grateful that I have Tyler.  Are things perfect- heck no people... but they are just right for us.  Do we have bumps in the road? Yep, big ones...but we also know this is part of life... and we attempt to keep going.  Liza's gonna have trouble finding someone as good as her daddy...big trouble!

Happy Sunday
xoxo- Spencer



It works...

Some days I think I could walk through the door from school and fall flat on the floor and go to sleep.  Let me rephrase that...most days.  Not because I'm not getting sleep. (Liza sleeps from 7-6) Here lately I am just exhausted.  I hate complainers, so I try not to complain about it and just go on. 

Instead of falling out I pick up on my "mommy duties"...We play, we usually have a snack, we run errands, we eat dinner, we take a bath and get ready for bed, and around 6:30 Liza goes to bed... Monday- Thursday I go to the gym at 7:30...come home by 8:30...take a shower...go to bed...I'm sure most people would say " why in the heck are you going to the gym if you are already exhausted?"  but I have come to realize this is MY ONLY TIME JUST FOR ME...I need this time...it's a stress reliever and I always feel better after going.

I know everyone who has a job (including sahm) have days when they feel as though they are sucked dry...they have nothing left.  I have these days A LOT!  There have been several days when I'm driving home from Smackover and I question what I'm doing .  I question if its worth it...I question being so tired when I get home... I question leaving Liza... but then just when I'm almost completely give out its like something slaps me in the face. 

In the last few weeks I have received messages/emails/text from parents.  Each one thanking me.  I am by no means a miracle worker or teacher of the year, but I try my hardest.  I put 150% into my job and thank the Lord I am not wasting my time.  Just like I said back when I decided to return to work, I pray that Liza will appreciate this one day.  I pray that she will see that my intentions are good.  I pray that she won't just remember a tired mommy, but more than anything I pray she grows up and has a job where every single day she feels she is making a difference. ( maybe she'll choose one that pays more though ;)

I've said it before and I'll say it again...She makes me a better teacher, and they make me a better mommy...Its just a good combination. Tired or not...it works!

Happy Friday
XOXO, Liza's mom

Sunflowers and Vampires

Our first Halloween with Liza was a success! We attended the annual downtown trick or treat in Smackover with Keitha and the girls last night. (and of course Chris, Liza's bf)  Believe it or not Liza was ok with her outfit.  I figured she would have the head piece off in no time, but she left it on.  She ate several dumb dumb suckers thanks to Keitha, and she loved being around all the kids.

Today we had  "dress up as a character from a book" day.  Heather and I dressed up as the Cullen sisters. I was Rosalie and she was Alice.  We even wore the "real" mold on fangs.  The kids loved it.  Then tonight we had our regular trick or treaters.  Our neighborhood is the spot! Liza loved seeing all the kids.  She laughed at all the mask. 

I can't believe next year she will be walking up to doors asking for candy.  Time can stop now.

Here are a few pictures from the last 2 days.

Happy Halloween.
XOXO, Liza's mom

Getting ready to head to Smackover

                                                     
                           Sweet Lunden and Liza

                                

          Alice and Rosalie Cullen (without the long blonde hair)

                                             

             The sweetest boys ever...so so polite...

Sister friends...

As I get older I realize more and more than things happen at the exact time they are suppose to happen. There are still a lot of things that I question and I try not to ever question God, but I will be honest in saying that sometimes thats just hard. I'm a planner and I attempt to plan everything.  When Tyler and I started discussing having a baby, I had it all planned out in my head.  When I would get pregnant, when she would be here, when I would be off of work...all of it! God quickly showed me that I wasn't in charge. We got pregnant sooner than we planned, so my whole schedule was OFF!  I will be honest, I panicked a bit, but in no time I realized it was actually a better plan. duh.

Then in late December she made her arrival. I knew just how things would go. NOT! Withing 24 hours of her being alive I was reminded once again that my plan and my idea of what this was going to be like was so wrong.  She was now in control and everything I did revolved around her.  It didn't matter anymore that her changing table was all cutesy and that her diapers were neatly organized in her drawer because that was going to make it easy on me. What.ever.  That cutsey crap on the changing table was gone in no time.  Tha diaper drawer was a disaster and I was lucky if it had diapers in it.  What mattered was Liza and nothing else.

In the last 10 months I feel like I have done a lot of soul searching.  I find myself wanting to be a better person.  Back to the timing thing.  There are a few people that I feel like have been brought into my life for this very reason.  I have started to slow down and take it all in.  For 29 years I have flown through life and just lived....day by day just living...but not taking it all in. It has hit me like a ton of bricks.  Why have I been so unappreciative? Why havent I been a better friend? Why haven't I been a better sister? This has to stop.  I have to slow down and take a look at this life I have been blessed with. 

It's not everyday you meet people that you feel like you've known forever.  The kind of friends you could sit up with all night and just talk... maybe even cry.  The kind of friends that make you want to be a better person.  I was at such a lonely place in my life, and I needed this.  Believe it or not motherhood can get lonely.  I think its the rush and the stress that comes along with it.. and the adjustments.  Whatever it may be, I was feeling very very alone.  God knew this, obviously and in his own way...he fixed it.

With all that being said...I'm still not where I feel like I need to be, but I do think I'm headed in the right direction.  Liza deserves it, Tyler deserves it, my kiddos at school deserve it...and I owe it to myself.  There's just nothing like girlfriends and God's timing...

Happy Friday Eve... Liza's mom

a true inspiration...

For the past week I have sat down numerous times attempting to blog, but I can't seem to get the words out.  I don't know how to start, or where to start.  On Sunday I got a phone call that completely stopped me dead in my tracks. A friend of mine lost her husband in a car wreck.  They have a little girl who is one month older than Liza. I immediately put myself in her shoes.  For 6 days I have been sick. Literally, my stomach hurts every single time I think of sweet Julee and Preslee. I think of her all day every day.   I met Julee my first year of college. I remember walking into her dorm room and instantly knowing I would love her.  Her room was fabulous!!! She was the most organized person I'd ever met. Her love for God was evident to all around her.  That hasn't changed one bit.  Somehow in the middle of this horrific time she is still inspiring.  She posted a blog 2 days ago and as I sat and read it all I could say was "this is living proof that God lives within Julee" her faith is so strong...  She makes me want to be a better wife, a better sister, a better friend, a better mom...all around better person...With that being said, please continue to lift she and sweet Preslee up in your prayers. Pray that God continues to carry Julee through the tough days to come.  Pray that her heart continues to heal.  I cannot imagine the heartache she is experiencing right now.   The world would be a better place if we were all a little more like Julee.

Out of Spin Cycle....

Before I go into the book let me back up and give some background...If you know me or have ever read this blog you know I am very honest when it comes to things being tough.  I dont live in a fantasy world where life is perfect.  I refuse to be fake about real world stuff, and nothing drives me more crazy than people who do this...number 1 they make me question why I can't get my crap together... but I always quickly realize its not real...

The last few weeks seem to be one big blur.  I think starting when Liza got sick.  From that point on things have been crazy.  Last night I fell apart. I'm sure the rain had a lot to do with it, but whatever it was caused by- it happened! I realized I had to stop.  I had to slow down. I had to sit down and talk to Tyler about something besides Liza.  I had to hug him and most of all I had to cry...ugly big tears... All I could tell him was that I felt alone... That sounds so crazy bc I'm never ever alone.  I think the only time I'm by myself is from 7am-725 am on my way to work..but somehow I am more lonely than I have been... I feel like I have lost touch with myself... I've lost touch with friends...I've lost touch with my husband...I even feel as though I have lost touch with God...I think this happens to all mothers at some point...We lose our identity because all of our time and effort goes for someone else now... I think I'm tired too and that doesn't help... I went to bed feeling a little bit better, but not good...

I woke up this morning with the plan to make it to church.  We have missed a lot lately because Liza naps at 8:30 and ususally sleeps til 10:30 and I HATE waking her from naps... So, Tyler and I decided we would get her up at 10, dress her, and go... PERFECT... yeah right... She didn't go down until 915.  I could not make myself wake her at 10:00. So at 9:30 I am walking around mad bc once again we won't make it to church.  Tyler went outside to work in his shop and I got on the couch.  I had been thinking about a book that my sister posted on instagram.  I got the ipad out and googled the author- Jen Hatmaker... The first book to pop up was Out of the Spin Cycle... I clicked on it and the first thing I saw was "Devotions to lighten you mother load" that did it I was in... I continued reading and knew right away I had to read it. I swear the book was written for me.  she starts early in the book talking about isolation and lonliness... her words are "never was I more susceptible to isolation than during young motherhood. It can be such a lonely work. Because my personality requires a scheduled routine, for years I fed-dressed-cleaned up-put down for morning nap-lunch-afternoon nap-dinner-bath-bedtime. I'd sit for the first time at 8pm.  I was hard to make room for friends." HELLO!!!!!! Can she read my mind?  She then went into how from the minute you give birth its like we are entering a mommy competition.  This is so true and I hate it.  Why is a competition? Why do people compare?
Finally an hour later I stopped reading, but I can't wait to continue tonight... So to all you moms who have ever felt this way...go read this book.. I hope you get as much out of it as I am.

The end of chapter 4 went into praying... she talked about how it doesn't matter how we pray or where or how silly we made sound...just do it...pray for your babies until they are old enough to pray for themselves... she said" sometimes we dont even know what to ask for we just want God's intervention in the lives of our children.  Here is some good news- " The Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness.  Forexa,ple, we dont know what God wants us to pray for, but the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.  And the father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God's own will. Romans 8:26-27.

Happy Sunday...
xoxo- Liza's mom

Change is good

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately... Thinking about how so much has changed and how different life is at different times in our lives... I always had an idea in my head of what things would be like when I became a mother, but I was way off...

In high school our friends are most important to us... Then we go to college and make new friends and live the life. Eventually we get married and our spouse becomes our best friend, but we still hold on tight our girlfriends... We travel, spend long weekends at the lake, and watch a lot if tv;) then along comes a baby... Nothing can prepare you, some days are hard, and some are easy... But either way things are different... The only thing tht matters anymore is that new life.  The coming and going as we please is now over, long weekends at the lake are over for a bit, and watching tv is postponed until 7pm...

 Tyler and Liza are it...everything I do and every thought I have involves them both... I still have my close girlfriends, although some have drifted away...I guess that's life...there is no better feeling in the world than having my own family...no matter what kind of day I have, at the end of the day these 2 are still here with me and that is the best feeling ever...so even though most Friday and Saturday nights are spent here in our house...I wouldn't have it any other way...this stage by far is the best...

real life...

If I were 17 years old I would be in my car right now, driving around withe the music turned up as loud as it will go...but I'm not 17 so I'm on my bed, in my pjs, and I'm blogging...

Today has been one of those days...the kind of day that I wish I could redo all over.  School was just kinda rough and then I came home to a baby who is getting both of her top teeth right now as.we.speak... Need I say more?  She wasn't a happy camper.  Her wonderful sitter told us that she HELD her for 2 hours this afternoon while she napped.  I knew that meant we were in trouble, because that has never happened.  The worse part is that I know she is hurting, and there isn't a lot I can do to help.  We entertained her for the next 2 1/2 hours and then she was beyond ready for bed.  Bath time was a nightmare... but getting clothes on was even worse!  The entire time as she's screaming I am repeating over and over in my head "Lord give me patience"... before long I'm out!  Finally she's dressed and the bottle is on her mouth and she's quiet...and all I can remember is yelling at Tyler... who didn't deserve it...

So I just rocked her and rocked her and cried and prayed...This isn't exactly how I wanted my day to end, but it did and there is nothing I can do about it except go to bed and try again tomorrow... Try to do better... Try to be more patient... Try to be kinder...I have said this many times, but it's the truth...being a mom is the hardest job I have ever had...mostly because I want to be perfect...and well, I'm human.  This is real life...getting up at 5:30, getting Liza to the babysitter bc I have 20 kids waiting on me...rushing home to see Liza...and sometimes losing my patience...this is the real stuff... I wouldn't change a thing...

So as I go to bed tonight, I pray that I'm given the chance to do a little better tomorrow...good night...happy labor day weekend...

Here is a pic from tonight... Pre-fit;)

our kind of perfect...

Tonight as we were sitting in the kitchen chatting and feeding Liza I looked at Tyler and said, "You know, out of all the things we could be doing right now, and all the places we don't get to go anymore...I wouldn't want to be anywhere else but right here... I love being home...just the 3 of us." He completely agreed...There is nothing better than this feeling... With that being said, it's no where near perfect around here...There are times in every day that I think to myself -I'd just like to be able to sit down and do nothing, and times when Liza's fussiness makes me nuts, and times when I look down at my "newly mopped" floors and see wet puffs stuck to them or part of a banana smushed on the floor that Liza just threw from her highchair... But all in all, it is perfect, perfect for us...and I wouldn't trade 1 minute of our lives... Before I had Liza I was very guilty of looking around at others and comparing myself/my life...I often prayed about this bc I hated it... I didn't want to be that way, but I was... from the time Liza entered this world, that has all stopped... Nothing matters anymore but the 3 of us... and I love it...Tyler and I had a wonderful life before her, but nothing compared to today...

Our day consisted of donuts in bed (even Liza got a few very small bites)...then we had Liza's pictures made...ate lunch at Woods... went swimming... got snow cones...had dinner...and ended it with a bubble bath... As simple as that sounds, its what I love the most...we were all 3 together all day long... I can't help but stop and thank God for this life... As I rocked Liza to sleep and  looked across the room and saw a pile of things that need to be hung in her closet, it made me smile...I couldn't help but think about how those things just don't matter anymore...they will get hung eventually...So before you worry about the small things, take time to enjoy your loved ones...My kitchen floor may have puffs on it, but Liza sure had fun making that mess...

Here are a few pics Marxy took today...Happy Saturday...

Togetherness

Well this week was my last FULL week at home with Liza before school workshops starts.  We didn't do anything big, but we spent alot of time together.  At the beginning of the week she got her second tooth, and was super fussy, but by the next day she was back to her happy little self.  In just the last week so many people have commented on how happy she is, I couldn't agree more.  She smiles at everyone.  She smiles with her entire face, and usually kicks those legs ;)  I want to think that she is just a happy baby, but I truly think that her sleep schedule helps with this.  Tonight as I was rocking her I began to think about how happy she is and how easy she has been.  You all know that the first month or so of Liza's life was a bit difficult for me, but once that time passed things have been so good.  I am so thankful that we have a good routine going just in time for her babysitter.  It will be so much easier for everyone.  Liza will be staying with a relative of Tyler's, just she and Liza.  We consider ourselves so lucky to have her.  She will be just like a grandmother to Liza!  Of course I will miss her, and I will cherish every single minute we have together, but I am excited about going back to work and having some adult conversations ;)  I know now that being a teacher is the PERFECT job for a mom. We will have so many breaks together, but Mommy will stay sane too! 

Tyler and I were just talking about how we really don't remember life before her.  We guess we watched a lot of tv ;).  Things weren't near as fun. She gives our lives so much meaning. Not a day goes by that I don't look at her and think "how did we make something so perfect?"  Being a mom is definetly the hardest job I have ever had, mainly bc I want to be the very best, but it's also more than I ever imagined it to be.

Here are some pictures from our week together...

She LOVES her new carseat...and Sophie

We got to go visit our favorite doctor and her sweet pups... Briggs is by far the sweetest dog ever...Liza pulled his ears and bit his nose, and he never moved...Thanks Donya for helping with Liza at the paint store :)

Liza scoots all over and her pants won't stay up...crack attack ;)

Sitting in her big girl chair

New favorite- Sock monkey...Sophie is still there too though

Ice cream face... We met daddy at Woods for lunch and she tried ice cream...and LOVED it!



Have a wonderful weekend... Liza's mom

Busy body

I haven't written lately, but that's because Liza and I are super busy...She is soooo much fun now...it's not much of a shocker, but Liza is non stop...where in the heck did she get all of this energy?! I blame it on Tyler, he blames it on me...she got a double dose;) I cannot believe she's half of a year...in the last month we have started doing all sorts of fun things... 1. Sitting up 2. Blowing bubbles 3. Refuses to lay flat.. Pushes up on her elbows ALL THE TiME 4. Found her voice and loves to scream and then fall out laughing 5. Scrunches up her nose when she laughs 6. Drinks out of a sippy cup and then throws it 7. Attempts to roll over every time her diaper is changed 8. Kicks her feet like crazy and grins from ear to ear when we go to get her out of bed 9. Squeezes my neck and buries her head into me when she's tired 10.Pushes up when on her belly I can't believe how fast all of this is happening... But it's only been 6 months and I can't remember what our life was like before her...she gives my live a whole new meaning... Happy Friday, Liza's Mom

The Insanity Challenge... DONE

I did it!!! Finished 60 days of Insanity... Took my befroe and after pics and just sent in for my free t-shirt ;)
I am starting Asylum in 2 weeks and can't wait!
I lost a total of 17 lbs and went down 2 dress sizes...I may not be "ripped" but I feel much better... nothing like losing weight by sweating...to heck with all those diets...
Happy Memorial Day...



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my decision



from the moment I found out I was pregnant I knew I would be a working mom...I wasn't sure how it would all pan out, or how easy/hard it would be, but I knew I would work... after being home with my newborn baby for a few weeks, I knew having a job and getting out of the house was going to be good for me...I became stir crazy very quickly...If you know me this isn't big news ;)

after being home a month or so we established a schedule and it became much more doable...and I wasn't stir crazy anymore...3.5 months later I returned to work, and I would be lying if I said it was easy to go back...the sunday night before returning I literally cried all night... the thought of being away from liza made me sick...but I did it and I enjoyed it... I had days where I missed her so much, and days that I wanted nothing more than to be with her, but overall I had a great 6 weeks with my kiddos...

one night tyler and I were sitting on the couch talking and he said  (and I quote) "if staying home with liza will make you happy thats what I want you to do" I wasn't sure what to say or think bc I never really knew this was going to happen...we talked about it over and over and of course you would think thats all I needed to hear, but things began to get confusing...I went to school the next day and felt like things were in slow motion...and then I came home and looked at my sweet baby girl and became even more torn...I talked to a few friends about my decision and got lots of good advise, that I appreciate SO much... but for weeks I just had a knot in my stomach...a constant stomach pain...was I going to come home and spend all my time with my baby girl, and see her grow, and learn new things, or was I going to continue to spend my days with 20 something 4th graders...Y'all, I was clueless, and I was frustrated that I didn't know what to do...so I handed it all over to someone who knows much more than I do...I prayed harder than I've prayed in a long time...over and over, all day, every day...a dear friend of mine sent me a text and said "be still and let him deliver", this stuck out in my mind...so thats what I did...I tried my hardest to listen...

what I do everyday is much more than just a job to me... I have put my all into being a teacher for the last 7 years...I love what I do and each year I feel as though I truly make a difference...not that I'm teacher of the year, but I love my kids, and they have molded me into the person I am...each year I learn something new...and each year I grow as a person bc of my job...there is a part of me that thinks I will be a better mom as a teacher...and vice versa...with all this being said, this is why it is hard to walk away...on the otherhand I feel like I owe liza all my time...and I feel like I'm not a good mother if I "choose" to go back...liza will be staying with a wonderful lady, who is actually a relative of tylers and she will learn SO much from her...she couldn't be in better hands...

so I prayed and I prayed that I would be comfortable with my final decision...I have never been good at determining an answer...I always second guess it...but this time my answer came to me so clear...and I feel so good about my decision... I have a peace now... I am going back to work in august...maybe for 10 more years or maybe just 1 more year, but either way that is what I feel I am suppose to do... I had several parents and kids say things to me about next year...It was like I woke up one morning and just knew... knew that I needed to return...for some reason...that reason is unknown now, but I feel good about it... I will spend all summer with my sweet girl, and in the fall she will get to spend her days with sharon, who loves her like her own... this was the first time in my life that I got a clear answer...I am not sure how people go throughout life without prayer...thank you to all my friends who gave advice...please continue to pray for me and my decision, and pray that I continue to feel at peace about this decision, and  that I realize that this doesn't make me any less of a mother...I hope one day liza will understand all of this...I hope she will understand that she has me for life, but there are kiddos out there who don't have anyone and may need to borrow her mommy for a few months...

so in august i will return as mrs. knox and come home as mommy...and I feel good about it...

happy summer,
 liza's mom

lonely on the inside

When you think of the word lonely you think of someone who is alone...today is one of those days where I realize that's not necessarily what lonely means...you can be surrounded by people all day, but still have a void that isn't filled and feel somewhat alone... Thank goodness I have less than a week left of school bc this week was extremely hard for me...I miss Liza more than anything...yes, knowing she is in good hands helps, and knowing that she is with someone who loves her helps, but it doesn't help me with missing her...she goes to bed by 7:30, so that leaves me 3 hours give or take with her Monday-Friday...I soak up every single minute with her, but it's not enough...as crazy as it sounds I worry she won't know me like I want her to, and I worry I won't make the impact on her like I want to... I will never argue with the fact that stay at home moms have the hardest job...they do, but it's hard in a good way...I I need more time in my days...more time with Liza, more time doing things around the house, more time with Tyler...the list goes on...as I sit here and type I feel so alone...I know there are millions of mothers who can relate...your days are so routine...work, home, play, bath, bedtime, pick up, crash...start over...i just want to hit the pause button...as mothers day approaches us I can't help but ask myself am I doing a good job or am I too busy trying to manage our lives...it's the hardest job I've ever had and I want more than anything to succeed... Summer can't come soon enough...Happy mother's day to all the moms...especially mine...I pray I will be half the mom you are to me... With love, Liza's mom

Liza and Sophie

Somehow my baby girl is 4 months old...I swear she was born yesterday...Things are busy busy around here.  We are constantly on the go. Liza is not a fan of being still (where in the world does she get that) so we move around A LOT... She hangs out in the bjorn, we go on walks in the stroller, or we just bounce...big time bouncing...and don't think you can trick her and sit down while she's in the bjorn...NOPE... she is not having that... She met her new BFF a few days ago and fell in love...Sophie the giraffe is the bomb...Liza loves her to pieces, but at the same time wants to eat her head off... I'm cool with that though, if it helps those gums...chew away honey... Tonight she played in her new walker, but never let go of Sophie...

Tyler picked up Subway, and we thought we could squeeze in  dinner before bathing Liza...I had to take a picture bc this is what "dinner time" looks like these days...on the floor, while we bounce Liza around... I'm not sure why we have furniture...notice on the floor- subway sandwiches, drinks, burp cloths, gripe water, toys, the laptop, cell phones...the list goes on :)

Happy Hump Day-
Liza's Mom