whew...

i can't stand complainers...really, i can't so with that being said if you see me don't ask "how are you doing" bc i really don't think anyone is prepared for my answer...besides the point that it will take me 20 minutes to tell you how i'm really doing...it will sound like complaining...

the last week has been draining...if i could think of a better word i would use it, but draining is all that comes to mind...on wednesday i started having some serious cramping so i called my doctor...she told me to come on in since i was suppose to see her on thursday anyways...so i did, and to make a long story short she sent me to labor and delivery to be monitored...i was having small contractions and she wanted to watch me for a while...i was dilated to a 2 1/2 and 45% effaces...whatever that really means...so finally that night at 7:30 we got to head home... they gave me a shot to relax me, so then i couldn't drive...as i walked outside and tyler went to get his truck and came back to get me i completely fell apart... i can't even say why...i guess a combination of emotions, lack of sleep, cramping, back pain...all of it...

i stayed home thursday and tried to rest...then friday went to work bc i didn't want to miss our christmas program and party...i attempted to sit as much as possible...but its nearly impossible...saturday morning i woke up cramping but once i got up they stopped...i cleaned like a crazy woman ALL DAY... i felt really good all day...went to bed saturday night and at 3 a.m. WIDE AWAKE... finally fell back asleep around 9...so that leads up to today...which has been the hardest day yet...this morning i broke down...i am so tired...and by that i don't really mean sleepy tired...just worn out...my emotions are jacked...poor tyler didn't know what to say, but somehow found the right words... finally i got up and got ready thinking that would help, until i got dressed and was reminded that nothing really fits...i threw on yoga pants and a shirt that has become an every other day shirt...i thought i was ok until my dad called...and the minute he said "how are you" i broke down...

i finally took a nap and went to the store... fixed supper and attempted acting "normal"...with all that being said i will survive...in a few weeks i will hopefully look back and forgotten about this day...i have prayed and prayed for patience and strength until sweet liza decides its time...whenever she is ready we are...please say a prayer for me...for all 3 of us...have a wonderful monday...

ok ok...its gotta be time...

first of all i must say that this pregnancy has been really easy...i was never once sick...the worst thing i dealt with was being so sleepy in my firat trimester...i would literally come in from school, fall onto the bed, take a cat nap and drag myself to the gym...being tired is "do-able"...then all of a sudden i woke up one day in my second trimester and felt nothing...it was like i was my old self again...i felt wonderful...and now, well the word of the last week or so is "pressure"...that is the nicest way to put it...liza has been a busy, busy girl from the beginning...moving non stop...last week when i went to the dr i was told that she has dropped...of course now all i do is read about dropping online...some people have lots of pressure and pain in their pelvic bone and hips, and others don't...i definetly do...i really would consider myself pretty tough, and i feel like i can tolerate pain pretty well, and let me just say... this crap hurts...like i moan in the night when i get up to go to the bathroom and it is very obvious that i am "waddling" these days...tyler is so sweet...all night he says things like "im so sorry your hurting"...i know deep down he wishes i would zip it...

anyways it all boils down to...i am just ready...yes, i want her lungs to be perfect and i do not want to rush her...but i also wish that she would be easy with that head...words can't explain how ready i am to see her...my actual due date is january 9th...but after seeing the dr last week her words were "i think we might have a baby around 37 or 38 weeks" which is like 3 weeks away at the most...i keep going through my list of what i must get done...and it just keeps growing...nothing will really prepare me i'm sure...but regardless i can't wait...these have been the happiest 9 months of my life...i have never looked forward to something so much...please keep all 3 of us in your prayers...happy tuesday