i can't stand complainers...really, i can't so with that being said if you see me don't ask "how are you doing" bc i really don't think anyone is prepared for my answer...besides the point that it will take me 20 minutes to tell you how i'm really doing...it will sound like complaining...
the last week has been draining...if i could think of a better word i would use it, but draining is all that comes to mind...on wednesday i started having some serious cramping so i called my doctor...she told me to come on in since i was suppose to see her on thursday anyways...so i did, and to make a long story short she sent me to labor and delivery to be monitored...i was having small contractions and she wanted to watch me for a while...i was dilated to a 2 1/2 and 45% effaces...whatever that really means...so finally that night at 7:30 we got to head home... they gave me a shot to relax me, so then i couldn't drive...as i walked outside and tyler went to get his truck and came back to get me i completely fell apart... i can't even say why...i guess a combination of emotions, lack of sleep, cramping, back pain...all of it...
i stayed home thursday and tried to rest...then friday went to work bc i didn't want to miss our christmas program and party...i attempted to sit as much as possible...but its nearly impossible...saturday morning i woke up cramping but once i got up they stopped...i cleaned like a crazy woman ALL DAY... i felt really good all day...went to bed saturday night and at 3 a.m. WIDE AWAKE... finally fell back asleep around 9...so that leads up to today...which has been the hardest day yet...this morning i broke down...i am so tired...and by that i don't really mean sleepy tired...just worn out...my emotions are jacked...poor tyler didn't know what to say, but somehow found the right words... finally i got up and got ready thinking that would help, until i got dressed and was reminded that nothing really fits...i threw on yoga pants and a shirt that has become an every other day shirt...i thought i was ok until my dad called...and the minute he said "how are you" i broke down...
i finally took a nap and went to the store... fixed supper and attempted acting "normal"...with all that being said i will survive...in a few weeks i will hopefully look back and forgotten about this day...i have prayed and prayed for patience and strength until sweet liza decides its time...whenever she is ready we are...please say a prayer for me...for all 3 of us...have a wonderful monday...
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Spencer, this is hilarious, I know you don't want to hear that BUT when I read about you cleaning like a mad woman it reminded me of when I was pregnant with Carly. The week before she was born, I mowed the grass, with a push mower. She is almost 20 which is CRAZY. Liza will arrive just at the right time. Slow down, take a deep breath and relax, and when she arrives all these emotions will subside when you see her perfect little face, fingers and toes...Charlie
ReplyDeleteSpencer, I remember feeling like a "watched pot about ready to boil over" that last week before Jackson was born. I know exactly how you are feeling, but trust me, that will all go away and be a faint memory when you hold her for the first time! Prayers for all of you, and just remember that this will pass soon and will all be very worth it!
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