Another year

Somehow I turned 30 today.  When I say I feel like I was 16 I am dead serious. I can remember just like it was last night when my dad pulled up in my brand new black honda with the biggest red bow on the top.  How has that been 14 years ago?  Where did the time go?  How am I thirty years old and a mother?

I will say this, the last year of my life has been the very best so far.  That sounds crazy since about 3 months of that year I was CRAZY...yep, I said it, completely out of mind.  Walking around this house in yoga pants and sweatshirts and crying 15 out the 24 hours in a day.  I'm gonna say that was from January to March.  Then, it was like one day I just snapped out of it.  I still won't say it was post partum, but it was a terrible case of the baby blues.  Like I said though within time I was ok.  Still though, even including those dark dark months, the past year has been the best.

Liza gets a lot of credit for making it so good.  Anyone who is a mother understands how you are changed the minute your baby is welcomed into this world.  I wouldn't have considered myself a selfish person at all prior to Liza, but I can say now that I don't have an ounce of selfishness left.  I just don't matter anymore, and I'm 150% ok with that (crazy huh)  I have lived for the moment, not worrying about what's to come.  I have realized how strong I really am, but at the same time how much I need Tyler, and my family, and my best friends.  I have prayed more in the last year than in my life.  Prayed for Liza, her daddy, myself...constantly. 

But I have to stop and say thank you...thank you to every single person who has been involved in my life this last year, because I swear without every one of you, I'm not sure I would've made it.  Tonight as I rocked Liza and sniffed her hair I began to cry, not because I'm sad, but because thats how much I love her, so much it hurts.  And because a whole year is almost gone.  Tomorrow she will be 11 months old and I can't believe it.  I want to go back and start over.  I want to do it all again, even the hard days.  Even the days when I texted Hannah and said " I can't do this!" I want those days back.

With all that being said the number 30 doesn't bother me one single bit.  Some days I feel 21 and other days 45.  I can't wait to see what this year holds.  Again, thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who helped make the last year so good... I love you all. 

XOXO-
Liza's mom

Blowing out the candle with mom

                                  My little family





Busy Girls

We have had a busy busy day and it's only 1:30.  We played all morning...cleaned bathroom, and then napped... after just 30 minutes she woke up...instead of getting her up for good, we rocked... towel in my hair and all...for 30 more minutes she slept on me, and I loved every single minute of it.

Then we went and had lunch with Daddy... Liza got her first bite of chocolate chip pizza and LOVED it... Her eye brows shot up as if "where in the heck has this been my whole life?"  We ran a few errands and then came home and walked everywhere... She is more confident with every step and when she falls she says "YAY!!!!"

I took a few pics so that I could document our first big day of walking all over. It's like she knew we would be home together today.  She saved it all for me. 

Our days together are so special...so so special.
XOXO- Liza's mom

An Improvement...

Our evenings are not the easiest/most pleasant time around here, but hopefully (fingers crossed) it's getting better! Since Liza was a month old, she has always been cranky around 6pm...that's when we decided...fine, we will just go to bed...yep, that early...and still to this day we bathe her at 6:30 and she is in bed by 7. I tell myself that she's just tired...she takes 2 naps a day, but requires A LOT of sleep. 

But, just maybe,she is getting better.  Each day seems a little more tolerable.  Today was a good day.  We played...I cooked supper while she played with magnetic letters on the fridge...she played in her balls...she looked at The Wheels on the Bus 50 times...and played Peak-A-Boo-Barn for 20 minutes...and then we all sat down and ate supper. (without crying)

Days like today make me consider having another baby... not any time soon, but the thought crosses my mind... Don't tell Tyler, he will move to the guest room ;)

Happy Wednesday
XOXO, Liza's mom
            
Her teeth don't have a chance, she uses them to open things. Her uncle would die!

Reading The Wheels on the Bus... her favorite...notice the pop ups are all missing!

                                      
                      She points at everything...all day, every day!

 
 This face is a bit scary...I wish I knew what she were thinking...or maybe I don't want to know ;)



Getaway

Every year for tha last 4 years Tyler and I have always gone away for our birthdays.  The last few years we've gone to Shreveport, mainly because there's plenty to do for both of us... he gambles while I shop- makes complete sense ;)  Last year I was (BIG time) pregnant.  I remember like it was yeaterday we were walking through a store and a lady said " Oh when are you due?" Tyler immediately said "She's not pregnant!"  Her face was priceless.  I fell out laughing and informed her that I had 1 month left.  Also, last year Arkansas was playing LSU... We ate and went back to the room to watch the game and sleep.  I was big and tired!  If only I had known the true meaning of tired haha!

We knew we wanted to get away this year too, but of course questioned going.  Should we just stay home? Do we really need to shop?  Do we want to give up a Saturday with Liza?  Finally we decided we had to go..even if we just drove 30 minutes down the road...we had to.  We owed it to us...our marriage...our friendship...we must get away.  I can remember laying in bed when I was pregnant with Liza and wondering how things were going to be once she was here.  I can remember worrying that Tyler and I would grow apart, because after all taking care of a newborn requires ALL of your attention.  I can remember him being worried about this same thing.  We were clueless, but we were smart enough to know that things were going to change.

I will be completely honest, you are lying to yourself and everyone around you if you say having a child isn't hard on a marriage bc well, it just is.  We never had to "work" at our marriage, it just worked all by itself.  We talked all the time, we sat down and ate dinner together every night, we ate breakfast in bed every morning...we did everything together... and we were right things did change.  There is no way that things can remain the same.  We now have a precious little girl that needs all of our attention.

On the way to Shreveport we talked about this.  About how we wouldn't trade her for the world and we can't imagine our life withour her, but how important it is to get away and find "us" again.  Sit down at dinner and talk about anything we want.  Stay for 30 minutes after we finsih eating because we are in no hurry.  Lay around a hotel room.  Go to dinner at 8:00. ( which is very late when you are used to eating at 5:30) Most importantly focus all of our attention on each other for 24 hours.

It is so easy to get wrapped up in day to day routines.  I am so grateful that I have Tyler.  Are things perfect- heck no people... but they are just right for us.  Do we have bumps in the road? Yep, big ones...but we also know this is part of life... and we attempt to keep going.  Liza's gonna have trouble finding someone as good as her daddy...big trouble!

Happy Sunday
xoxo- Spencer



It works...

Some days I think I could walk through the door from school and fall flat on the floor and go to sleep.  Let me rephrase that...most days.  Not because I'm not getting sleep. (Liza sleeps from 7-6) Here lately I am just exhausted.  I hate complainers, so I try not to complain about it and just go on. 

Instead of falling out I pick up on my "mommy duties"...We play, we usually have a snack, we run errands, we eat dinner, we take a bath and get ready for bed, and around 6:30 Liza goes to bed... Monday- Thursday I go to the gym at 7:30...come home by 8:30...take a shower...go to bed...I'm sure most people would say " why in the heck are you going to the gym if you are already exhausted?"  but I have come to realize this is MY ONLY TIME JUST FOR ME...I need this time...it's a stress reliever and I always feel better after going.

I know everyone who has a job (including sahm) have days when they feel as though they are sucked dry...they have nothing left.  I have these days A LOT!  There have been several days when I'm driving home from Smackover and I question what I'm doing .  I question if its worth it...I question being so tired when I get home... I question leaving Liza... but then just when I'm almost completely give out its like something slaps me in the face. 

In the last few weeks I have received messages/emails/text from parents.  Each one thanking me.  I am by no means a miracle worker or teacher of the year, but I try my hardest.  I put 150% into my job and thank the Lord I am not wasting my time.  Just like I said back when I decided to return to work, I pray that Liza will appreciate this one day.  I pray that she will see that my intentions are good.  I pray that she won't just remember a tired mommy, but more than anything I pray she grows up and has a job where every single day she feels she is making a difference. ( maybe she'll choose one that pays more though ;)

I've said it before and I'll say it again...She makes me a better teacher, and they make me a better mommy...Its just a good combination. Tired or not...it works!

Happy Friday
XOXO, Liza's mom