Sunday, January 22, 2012


Exactly one month ago you could have ask me if I knew how much my life was going to change and I would have probably said oh yeah...but I'm here to tell you that was a lie... 1 months ago was December 22nd school was out and I was so ready to have Liza. I couldn't believe I made it through the end of school, but somehow I did. I can remember trying to make sure everything was in its place and organized before Christmas. I was worried about things like are all the presents wrapped and are all of Liza's clothes washed and put away. If only I knew then what I know now...

In just one month so much has changed. People say things like "your world is going to change", but you don't really pay attention to those comments. To be honest I hated those comments. As I sit here and type I wonder if all moms feel like I have or if I'm not " normal"... Tyler said it best this morning... "what is normal anyway...who really defines the word normal"...we do seem to be on a better schedule now, and I love schedules...but still we have a 1 month old so by saying we are on a schedule just means things are more in order than they were 3 weeks ago...

I have a new respect for single mothers bc I swear that without Tyler I may not be alive...he has been major so many sister has been a life saver too...she seems to know exactly how i feel...I call her all the time to hear her say she's been there... we have good nights and bad nights...last night wasn't a good night...Liza is stopped up so she had trouble sleeping...poor thing has no clue she can breathe out of her mouth...this morning Tyler took her to the living room with him around 8... He shut the door and out they went...I fell apart for about 10 minutes and then dosed off...crying does make me feel better at times...this morning it was a tired cry I think...just lack of sleep...but not just times I feel completely overwhelmed and I stop and remind myself that I can do this...and everything won't be perfect...and I have to be ok with I fell asleep and woke up at 11:00 to a clean house...and a sleeping baby :)

Like I said a week or so ago I pray more than ever...out loud, silently...whatever works at the in conclusion what does "normal" really mean...and who cares...I've made it a month with my precious little girl and our new family of three is adjusting day by day..I know I will look back on these tough days and think they weren't that big of a deal...I find myself constantly hearing my dad's famous line " take a deep breath spenc, and calm down" helps so much...

We are ready for a new week...with absolutely NOTHING planned ;)

With love, Liza's mom


  1. Spencer, I remember feeling exactly the way you are describing in your post. I am like you in alot of ways, a real "ducks in a row" kind of girl and love everything being organized and structured. A baby certainly changes our ways of doing things and it is a huge adjustment, but very soon, everything will fall into place for you and Tyler. What I remember missing was the "in control" feeling I had before he was born and feeling exactly how you put it- overwhelmed sometimes. But what helped the most was my learning to just take one day at a time and if the bed didn't get made that day, it didn't matter. That was hard, because I am one of those people who can't leave the house unless it that bed is made- lol---still am and I have taught Jackson to be that way, too. Anyway, prayers going up for you and Tyler; everything will be ok!!

  2. It's totally ok to feel that way!! I don't have kids now, but we were foster parents to a newborn (AND her 5 yo brother) a couple of months ago. That was the hardest thing I have done!! It totally gets better and easier all the time, but it's HARD!!!

    Also, I wanted to let you know that I recently learned that babies can't breathe out of their mouths until like 4 months (I think). I was always fascinated with that bc our newborn wouldn't do it either. I just happened to read an article recently that said they just can't do it until later on. Weird!

    Good luck with everything!! You will survive and thrive!!

  3. i will never forget tucker winningham's first birthday. allison thanked everyone there and made the comment that it was actually all of our "happy birthday". she went on to say that a baby doesn't get to his/her first birthday alone. it's because of her mom. and dad. and grandparents. and friends. it's not always pretty. i won't tell you to enjoy every minute. because some minutes are IMPOSSIBLE to enjoy. i will tell you that you've made it almost one month. and liza is healthy. and happy. and growing.

    you're doing an excellent job. i'm so honored to get to stand beside you and watch. xoxo.

  4. I think Liza is one lucky little girl and you are a wonderful mommy! This whole parenthood thing is definitely a 'new normal.'