Friday, May 11, 2012

lonely on the inside

When you think of the word lonely you think of someone who is is one of those days where I realize that's not necessarily what lonely can be surrounded by people all day, but still have a void that isn't filled and feel somewhat alone... Thank goodness I have less than a week left of school bc this week was extremely hard for me...I miss Liza more than anything...yes, knowing she is in good hands helps, and knowing that she is with someone who loves her helps, but it doesn't help me with missing her...she goes to bed by 7:30, so that leaves me 3 hours give or take with her Monday-Friday...I soak up every single minute with her, but it's not crazy as it sounds I worry she won't know me like I want her to, and I worry I won't make the impact on her like I want to... I will never argue with the fact that stay at home moms have the hardest job...they do, but it's hard in a good way...I I need more time in my days...more time with Liza, more time doing things around the house, more time with Tyler...the list goes I sit here and type I feel so alone...I know there are millions of mothers who can relate...your days are so, home, play, bath, bedtime, pick up, crash...start over...i just want to hit the pause mothers day approaches us I can't help but ask myself am I doing a good job or am I too busy trying to manage our's the hardest job I've ever had and I want more than anything to succeed... Summer can't come soon enough...Happy mother's day to all the moms...especially mine...I pray I will be half the mom you are to me... With love, Liza's mom

1 comment:

  1. You are the best. Best. Mom. Liza knows you better than anyone else and your love for her is evident in every minute of the day, whether you are physically in front of her or not. I understand the feeling of loneliness and also uncertainty of being able to 'translate' what you want for your daughter to her. You are doing a fantabulous job. Keep on keeping on. Love you.