Sunday, February 24, 2013

Step back

I have sat down several times in the last few days to blog, but I couldn't seem to get the right words out.  In the last week or so my eyes have been opned to so much.  I say this all the time, but I think it's so true- since I've become a mother I look at so many things in life from a different perspective.  I love things that I didn't pay attention to before, I don't have patience for some things, but more than anything I seem to think before speaking (or at least I try to)  For so many reasons, #1 Liza can hear everything I say.  She may not understand it all, but one day very soon she will.  #2 I am more and more aware of other peoples feelings.  I wish I could teach this to my 4th graders. Heck, I wish I would've been more aware of this myself... I'm not referring to saying things out loud in front of others that hurt their feelings, I'm talking about before we speak,take into consideration everyone else's "story." 

Every single time I post a picture on instagram or a post on fb I think about anyone it may effect.  I have friends who have dealt with losses and sicknesses.  I have a best friend who is fighting cancer at this very minute.  My life is so easy right now and I could blink and it could all come falling down, I'm fully aware of this...more aware than ever. When I post pictures of Liza, I think about mothers who have lost their children or never were able to have children of their own.  When I post pictures of Tyler and Liza, I think about friends who have lost their husbands.   I can't stand reading complaints on fb about things that just don't matter.  Or worse than that is bragging.  I.can'  I have to force myself to not look, because I know I will say something I shouldn't say. 

I just think we all need to take a step back and examine our lives.  Be completely honest with ourselves.  Be honest with others.  Take the time to listen to someone else's story and their life.  Just a few weeks ago I had the pleasure of doing this.  I was at parent teacher conferences and I had a father completely open up to me.  It was just the two of us in my classroom, and he talked about his childhood and his struggles in school.  He went on to tell me that all he really wanted was to raise respectful kids.  He talked about how he does everything in his power to make their lives easier than his.  It was like time completely stopped.  I sat across the table from this man who had "working man" hand and his name on his shirt and realized that in the last 10 minutes I had learned more from him than he could've ever learned from me.  I wish I could've recorded our conversation and played it for everyone.  At that moment I realized I want Liza to grow up around people like this man.  I want her to see how although we are all so different, we all have so much to offer. 

With all this being said I am so thankful for everyone in my life right now.  Every single person.  You all teach me more than you will ever know, about myself and about the person I am want to be.

Liza's mom

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