dear liza kate.

dear liza kate,

first, and of utmost importance...your cousin calls you "luda".  i can't explain it.  it's odd.  he seriously understands most of what i say.  but for some reason he has started calling you "luda".  ask your mom how to pronounce it.  it's like a rapper, ludarcis.  sounds like looda.  but i promise by the time you arrive, i will have this taken care of.

last night he prayed for you.  he said, "be with baby luda in shooga's belly".  he calls your mommy "sugar".  he has learned how to change his baby brother's diaper, so he's fully prepared for your diapers too.  get ready.

each day when they both go to bed, i get online and try to find things for you.  i have lots of ideas.  i'm trying to do something that no one else will think of.  i want you to have something from me that you can keep forever and ever.  and that will mean more and more as you grow up.

of course, i will shower you and your mommy with lots of small presents too.  things you will need.  things i can't buy my little boys.

like bows.  and dresses.  and fancy shoes.  and leg warmers.  and toenail polish.  it's gonna be so much fun.

i've been thinking alot about what you will be like.  i try to mesh your mommy and daddy together and imagine what that is.  what that becomes.

and while i can't put my finger on that exactly...i can imagine all the good in them.  and all the beauty.  and i'm positive that is what you will be.

each night when i go to sleep, i pray for you.  for your heart. and your toes.  for your backbone.  and your belly.  i already love you as much as i love my own babies.  i'm gonna be in that delivery room (your mom hasn't asked me, but that's irrelevant.  i'll be like her and just sneak passed all the nurses and doctors) and the minute you are born, i'm getting you.  and holding you.  and i'll only give you up to your mom.  and maybe your dad.  and maybe my mom.  but then i think i'm gonna move in.  yes, that sounds good.

okay.  i've rambled on long enough.  i love you sweet angel.  and i'm counting down the days until you arrive.  until then, keep growing.  and but know we love you.  and we are so very excited to meet you.

xoxo,
honey.