Some days I think I could walk through the door from school and fall flat on the floor and go to sleep. Let me rephrase that...most days. Not because I'm not getting sleep. (Liza sleeps from 7-6) Here lately I am just exhausted. I hate complainers, so I try not to complain about it and just go on.
Instead of falling out I pick up on my "mommy duties"...We play, we usually have a snack, we run errands, we eat dinner, we take a bath and get ready for bed, and around 6:30 Liza goes to bed... Monday- Thursday I go to the gym at 7:30...come home by 8:30...take a shower...go to bed...I'm sure most people would say " why in the heck are you going to the gym if you are already exhausted?" but I have come to realize this is MY ONLY TIME JUST FOR ME...I need this time...it's a stress reliever and I always feel better after going.
I know everyone who has a job (including sahm) have days when they feel as though they are sucked dry...they have nothing left. I have these days A LOT! There have been several days when I'm driving home from Smackover and I question what I'm doing . I question if its worth it...I question being so tired when I get home... I question leaving Liza... but then just when I'm almost completely give out its like something slaps me in the face.
In the last few weeks I have received messages/emails/text from parents. Each one thanking me. I am by no means a miracle worker or teacher of the year, but I try my hardest. I put 150% into my job and thank the Lord I am not wasting my time. Just like I said back when I decided to return to work, I pray that Liza will appreciate this one day. I pray that she will see that my intentions are good. I pray that she won't just remember a tired mommy, but more than anything I pray she grows up and has a job where every single day she feels she is making a difference. ( maybe she'll choose one that pays more though ;)
I've said it before and I'll say it again...She makes me a better teacher, and they make me a better mommy...Its just a good combination. Tired or not...it works!
XOXO, Liza's mom